We are more connected than ever. We know what our friends are up to every minute of the day. We are able to connect with someone at the click of a button. Yet why do we feel so disconnected? Social media presents us with opportunities for quick glimpses and comments into others lives, but it fails to create meaningful relationships between us. Here are my 5 top tips to creating more meaningful bonds with others again, and allow others to feel truly valued at the same time.
1. Listen to them
Show them you understand by listening to them. Show them empathy and really try to understand what they are saying. If they are going through some difficult times, you can show that you understand by saying things like “that must be hard for you”. But try avoid saying that you do understand. You may have been through a similar experience, but what they are feeling may be very different from what you have been through.
And remember, when you are listening to them, try not to interrupt them, let them be free to talk.
2. Admire Them
Allow yourself to admire them. If you start to feel a tinge of jealousy, ask yourself, what is it about them that makes me jealous? Then ask, is that what I want in my life? How can I achieve that for myself, so that I no longer need to feel jealous.
3. Be Specific About What You Admire
When you tell them what you admire about them, be specific about what it is you admire about them. For example, if you admire their outgoing personality, what is it about their outgoing personality that you admire. Do you admire their carefree outlook on life, their ability to strike up an interesting conversation with anyone, or their fun and spontaneous side. What is it exactly that you admire about them.
Think about what it is that you really admire about them. Don’t say what you don’t mean. If you like their ability to strike up interesting conversations but you don’t like their spontaneous nature, just think about those qualities you do admire, the ability to have interesting conversations. In other words, be specific, and stick to the positives.
Tell them what you like and admire about them. Tell them what they are good at. When you compliment someone, you make them feel good about themselves. People want to feel good about themselves and they want to surround themselves with people who will make them feel good about themselves. They can’t help but want to form a stronger connection with you because of the good feelings they receive when they spend time with you.
5. Make it Public
Tell other people what you admire about them. When you share what you like about someone, this makes other people see the good qualities in that person too. What’s more, people will start to see you more positively as well. When you talk well about others, people begin to trust you and wonder what good things you may also say about them.