Monthly Archives: January 2016
What relationship advice can help men the most? How do men know if the relationship they are in is the right one for them for the future? The single most important relationship advice for men is to avoid focusing on the things women say and pay attention to how women show them what they want.
In what way do women show men what they want? The best way to observe what women want is to see what men they date. Women will tell you they want a man who is good at listening but the man they select often does all the talking. They may say a sense of humor is the most important thing but many women go out with men who are wealthy and not very funny.
What is the reason for the discrepancy between what women say they want and what they do? The reason women do these things is found in their subconscious. Biologically and historically, women and men unite in order to reproduce. A woman my not be thinking about having a baby anytime soon on the surface but when women are judging men, they actually subconsciously are trying to determine if they would make good fathers. The key to being a good father is not being a good listener, it is being a good provider.
Women are attracted to men who appear to have the ability to provide for them. Women want a man who they know will take care of them and their children and meet all their physical needs. Men produce billions of sperms throughout their lives but women only have about 400 chances of reproducing. That means they want a man who will take care of them in the long run and give them a stable life.
Men who are lawyers and not paralegals are going to be more attractive to women. Women see a lawyer and think that he would be a good provider for their future family. Men need to do more than make enough money to take care of a woman, though. The men need to be willing to share what they have with their families. That is why women are so impressed by expensive gifts. That is the reason that the engagement ring is of such great importance. Giving a woman an engagement ring is done because it is a tradition and it is romantic but it also is a visible sign that the man can and will take care of the woman and their future family.
Another thing women are looking for is a strong man. Despite the fact that brains and not strength determine earnings in most cases, women associate strength with being a good provider. Women apply this principle when they select a football player to date instead of the smart geeky guy.
The best relationship advice for men is to look at dating as it relates to evolution and see what they have to offer.
Listing below some topics to keep away from, while talking during a date:
o Avoid talking about things which stir up memories of negative things, like violence, wrestling, rape, child abuse, death stories, animosity, hatred, cruelty. She is a woman after all!
o Avoid bringing up the past – both hers and yours. If she is curious about yours, steer the conversation on to something else. And never pass any derogatory comment about any past woman you may have had a relationship with.
o Never demean yourself, even if you mean it as a joke, as it gives a signal of low self-esteem. And you will never get her on your side, sympathetically or empathetically.
o Any topic that can be remotely controversial, like racism, apartheid, abortion, religion.
o What is wrong with her professional life and her boss or her employer. This triggers negative memories and does not add any value to your dating time.
o Never broach the topic of her past romantic liaisons.
o Issues related to health problems or past or present illnesses.
o Don’t show off or overtly display your affluence or bank credit ratings. If she is looking at your purse, there is hardly any point in continuing with this relationship. Even if she reminds you of Angelina Jolie. Let her look up “Gold Digger’s Monthly”. What are you doing there?
o Start screening those “typical” date questions that show no creativity or originality. Also, if by any way, you give her the impression as to your ultimate aim: “Ok, have coffee, afterwards, let’s have sex”, you will make sure you are showing her the quick way to make an exit.
o Avoid any talk that connects to sex in some way or the other. Even admiring a “sexy” picture fall under this category. Of course, if she broaches the topic, that’s a different issue. Some men think that by discussing such “sexual” topics, he is sending her “feelers”. That by this way he will know whether she is “on”, even for a one nighter. (See the Sexual Reversal Strategy below.)
o Regarding family issues, talk only in general terms and speak well of everyone. There is enough time left in future, when both of you can exchange notes on how horrible some of the family issues are!
And to mention the last but never the least important issue to avoid: Do not boast and become an “I” specialist! Keep the stories of your conquering the world and winning almost all battles in life to yourself please. I have heard many women complain about this fact – that if they start a topic, any topic for that matter, men instantly pick up a cue from there and start narrating their tales of victory and triumph.
Women are, by nature, a slightly unassertive lot, when it comes to conversation with men. Men like demarcating their territory, stake their claims and establish their own domain and while talking, take the woman to be just another man and rattle off. Unfortunately, they don’t realize that these things do not improve his ratings with her – what does is the self-confidence that arises out of well-practiced self-discipline manifested when he shuts up! There is no other alternative to practicing “restraint”, in speech and action, when it comes to impressing a woman.
Online Dating Tip #1 – Take the Time to Read Her Profile
While some online dating advice sites may recommend the ‘shotgun’ approach and suggest that guys should contact as many female members of their dating site as possible, this may not, necessarily, be the best approach. Instead of contacting as many female members as possible with short, terse messages, men should take the time to read a woman’s profile and then indicate this to her in an initial contact message. Just taking the time to read her profile and commenting on specifics from her profile will show a woman that a man is interested in what she has to say and set him apart from the countless other guys who do not take the time to do this.
Online Dating Tip #2 – Honesty is the Best Policy
Although it may be natural or tempting to stretch the truth a bit online – after all you don’t really know the person who you are contacting and they don’t know you – this is a bad move for men (and women for that matter). Starting a potential relationship off with a lie or basing a relationship on deception may come back to haunt a person later. Nobody likes to be deceived and this goes for men and women who use online dating sites. Before meeting another person face to face, all anyone has online is their reputation and integrity. Don’t jeopardize what could evolve into a serious relationship by being dishonest. Women will see through this right away.
Online Dating Tip #3 – Be Persistent, Not Overly Aggressive
Finding a woman online who has many of the same interests and multiple desirable qualities is very exciting. So let her know that you are interested and be specific about what you like about her (see online dating tip #1), but don’t be overly aggressive. Create a short, thoughtful message that indicates to her that you have read her profile and then sit back and be patient. If a woman does not respond right away, there may be several reasons for this. For example, she could be on vacation. The last thing a woman will want to do is contact that guy who sent her fifty emails while she was away on vacation and not able to log into to the online dating site. From a woman’s perspective, any man who sends multiple messages without allowing her sufficient time to respond is going to be viewed more as a stalker than a potential suitor. The best approach is to send an initial, thoughtful email and then wait at least one week for her to respond. After this, it may be acceptable to send one follow-up message, but any more attempts to contact a woman at an online dating site will have a negative effect. If she doesn’t respond by this time, just move on.
Online Dating Tip #4 – Keep the Initial Contact Email Short
Men should keep the initial contact email or message to a woman relatively short. Say enough so that the woman knows that you have taken the time to read her profile and provide some information about yourself and why you think you may be a good match and leave it at that. The longer the message you send to a female member of your dating site the more ‘psycho’ you will appear to be. So provide just enough information and maybe end with a question to make it as easy as possible for her to respond.
Online Dating Tip #5 – Never Ask for Personal Information
Dating safety is something that should be important for everyone, but women who use online dating sites may feel especially vulnerable, especially of they are using internet personals for the first time. While you may be interested in how close the object of your desire lives to you or want her phone number, keep such personal inquiries in check until later in your online relationship. If she is interested in you and you have been conversing through emails or IMs for some time, this type of information will flow naturally. Let her suggest a phone conversation before you do or let her take the imitative and suggest meeting in person. By letting the woman take the initiative, she will feel empowered and more in control. So, don’t ask for personal information or details, let the woman take the iniative when it comes to talking or meeting offline and make her feel as comfortable when you do meet, such as suggesting that you meet in a public place. These things can all reinforce the fact that you are a good guy with good intentions.
While there are many additional online dating tips for men who use the internet personals sites, the five tips above are essential for men to ensure the greatest probability for success through online dating. So, if you’re a guy, follow the dating advice above and take the time to read her profile and comment on specifics from her profile, be honest, don’t be overly aggressive, keep your initial contact message short, and make any women you contact through an online dating site feel as comfortable as possible by not being pushy or asking for personal information. What may be seen by you as an innocent question may be seen by her as a violation of her privacy. So try to follow the five essential online dating tips for men above and don’t be surprised if you have more online dating success than ever before.
A lot of literature has been produced and barrels of ink consumed in writing out various dating advice for men. “Women are from Venus and men from Mars” is the usual conclusion of most men when it comes to dating. Many popular movies have shown men comparing notes and tips on how to woo women. However, what most men forget is that women are no longer home oriented creatures that they were; women are now exploring and winning their fights too.
So how can one expect to impress any woman with age-old methods and formulas? In the following paragraphs are some very basic rules a man must follow for best dates. Read on, these could be of great help.
-Stop pretending to be Mr. Nice. Women are no longer looking for Mr. Perfect of their lives. The whole concept about such men has been lifted; the woman today wants her man to be human. So none of your stupid intellectual or intelligent moment’s speech is required. Just be yourself, talk of your own preferences, likes, dislikes etc.
-Try to be a bit naughty and witty at times. Catch her off her guard, keep her wondering whether you really said it or not. Do not get vulgar or too personal, but just some slight flirting is admissible. Keep her guessing about your next move and next sentence. Nevertheless, make it evident that you like her and admire her looks.
-Most women today have lot of admirers and hence you do not want to be just an addition to the list but leave an impression. Make her notice you and then throw in some attitude; but do not overdo the attitude part. Your date might try and test you, sometimes joke and refuse. However, there will be times you need to be firm too. Do not let her lead you anywhere she wants to – demarcate the limits.
-Some women are very close to their families. If you really like your date, then meeting her family and interacting with them is not a bad idea. After all, we all want our most treasured people to get along together and know each other. Any woman who is close to her family will only introduce a man she really likes and appreciates, not otherwise. One of the best dating tips for men is to be yourself and be comfortable with her family.
A successful date is the one in which you enjoy the company without having to change any facts or be conscious about yourself.